It has become more and more important to me the older I get to share my emotional world with others. I have come to realize that I am not unique. Sharing my emotional world is a positive thing for me, and I hope for others. I think that if I take a chance and share my dark side, I can maybe help others or I can maybe make new connections.
I have always shared a lot, but not publicly. In many support groups where it was safe I also readily shared. There I often bore my soul. Doing so I believe saved my life because it began the process of healing. I also shared my emotional world with a trusted friend or two. Still, there was so much I wouldn’t share also because I was ashamed.
The more people I speak with or get to know, the more I realize that my emotional world is similar to others. I also know that when I was at the lowest points in my life, it always helped to hear from others. Others who either could understand or who had had similar emotional worlds as I was having made me feel connected.
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There is still so much I haven’t shared.
I wrote my #metoo list, but it is on an anonymous site. Athough I would tell myself not to feel ashamed about certain things, I still do. If these things were someone else’s experience, I would tell them to let it go, to be at peace, to not feel ashamed, that they weren’t at fault, etc. Someday I will also share this part of my emotional world.
Sometimes sharing my experience has alienated others. I cannot speak for them or explain why they turn away from my life. But I have learned that we all need to be authentic and be ourselves. The less fear we have to share our inner selves or even to just accept our entire emotional experience, the wiser we become.
But I am becoming more and more open. I hope that by doing so I not only help others, but that I too can keep growing and stay in a positive place…